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Like most things in life, you have to practice and learn what works and what doesn't.Thankfully, learning skills like compromise, active listening and timing are available daily in a marriage.Closed-ended questions only require short, simple answers. Examples of open-ended questions include: How do you like your job? Open-ended questions, however, encourage giving free and intimate information. This is a social skill that we’ve mastered on the sporting fields, in the workplace, and even in the classroom.It’s translating that confidence on the dating field where we seem to drop the ball.Too often we find ourselves on either side of the extreme: we’ll either be noticeably quiet, in fear of saying something stupid or we’ll just go for it and get all in her face trying to fend off all the other guys that didn’t know they were even competing for her.
When these players get back on the basketball court they are ineffective, awkward, and look like they never picked up a basketball in their life.
Things like generating small talk, making the conversation personal, and knowing how to establish intimacy, are all skill sets at our disposal if we just tap into them, not to mention how they help us when we’re going after the woman we’re interested in.
Even picking up on what women are non-verbally communicating is a social skill that flies over our heads at times when normally we’re good at picking up on subtle messages.
What’s cool about this technique is that not only do you get to show that you care about her life (everyone wants someone to care about what they have going on) but it allows you to find out crucial information that you very well may be curious about which can also be helpful to a good conversation. You have the social skills required for dating, it’s just a matter of setting yourself up in a way where you can bring them to light and conquer your nervousness.
Now, the key is to be weary of closed-ended questions.