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Free membership to most of these site limits the number of ads you can look at and / or respond to in a given period so it's certainly worth thinking about paying for membership to at least one of them.
In most cases a three month membership (which should be plenty) costs less than - pretty cheap when you consider the impact it might have on the rest of your life.
If you're not reasonably comfortable with being asked "who were those leather clad weirdo's I saw you with Saturday? To my mind, one of the most effective ways to meet a partner is to advertise on line.
If you're serious about finding a real life partner concentrate on that rather than on cyber sex.
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On line services like these are discrete and reliable, allow the lifestyle, but do your best. When the picture is reasonably clear, write it down.
Are you looking for a long-term relationship or a one-off /casual play partner? Once you have a pretty good idea of what sort of relationship you're looking for, you can start to prepare yourself for it.